Larry: Less Miserabless...So it’s all singing?
Larry: No talking at all?
Me: Nope.
Larry: Anne Hathaway was the lead?
Me: No, she dies like, half an hour in.
Larry: Wow, her part is small.
Me: But SO important.
Larry: Yeah?
Me: So she gets fired
from this factory. Wait, I have to go back
further. Ok, Wolverine is in prison for
stealing bread and Gladiator releases him but is like, “You are on parole
forever, so best of luck. Jerk.” So
Wolverine finds Jesus and decides to change his identity and do good for
others. Then Catwoman is working in his
factory which always sounds bad but in this case it’s good because Paris is a total
hole right now and it’s either: factory or be a whore. She calls out for Wolverine to help her but
last minute Gladiator shows up and Wolverine has to bolt. So she becomes a whore. He finds her later and she’s all, “Thanks,
I’m a whore now. And also I have
tuberculosis. And also I have a kid,
so. Yeah. Thanks.” So Wolverine promises to take care of little
Amanda Seyfried after Catwoman dies.
Larry [singing]: I’m dyyyyyyying now. Cough!
MeeOwwwww!
Me: Right, just like that.
So before Wolverine gets Little AS, Gladiator tells him they found the
prisoner that Gladiator thought Wolverine was, and Wolverine gets all sweaty
and guilty and is like, “Do I come clean and save this poor guy they think is
me or bolt? Sigh, I found Jesus and I’m
awesome, so I’m gonna come clean and save this dude.” So he does, then runs and grabs Little AS and
they run off. Nine years later Paris is
still a mess and this political figure who spoke for the people dies. So all these college boys are like, “LAST
STRAW, KING ASSHOLE THE 15TH or whatever! VIVA LA FRANCE! NO MORE EVERYBODY HAVING TO BE WHORES!” But one of the Red-Headed ones is also in
love with Little AS, who is now Grownup AS.
And he’s pretty torn up about dying for his country now. But his hotter friend goes, “Man, get your
head back in the game!” So Redhead joins up anyway and they build this
barricade out of chairs and a coffin and there’s lots of singing by everybody
here, including this one girl who is in love with Redhead, but he doesn’t love
her back. And the standoff has started.
Larry: Get off our chair and coffin mooouuntaaain, you
jeeeeeeerrrrrks!
Me: Exactly. So Wolverine
finds out that Redhead loves Grownup AS and is like, “Crap, I never let her do
anything because I’m a fugitive of the law.
I have to make sure this guy doesn’t die.” He goes to the barricade and lo and behold,
they have Gladiator tied up there because he was double-agenting them and got
busted. Wolverine tells the boys he’ll
take care of the nasty man. But when no
one’s looking, he cuts Gladiator loose.
Gladiator’s all, “I am SO still going to hunt you down, you know!” And Wolverine’s all, “Who cares, I’m awesome,
just beat it.”
So they fight the royal guard and they all get killed including
this little kid, like, cheap shot, show.
Except Redhead because Wolverine
drags him the hell out of there through the sewers and sure enough Gladiator
busts them and Wolverine’s like, “Dude, stop it. This guy needs a doctor.” But Gladiator goes, “NEVER. One more move and you’re effing dead.” But Wolverine’s like, whatever, and leaves
and Gladiator does nothing. He’s so wigged
out about how Wolverine is so much more awesome than he is that he SPLATS
himself right into the dam.
Larry:
AAAAaAAAHHHH!!! OOF!
Me: Those are
actually kind of his lines. So Redhead
is ok and he marries Grownup AS, but Wolverine is dying that day and they all
cry, but Grownup AS finds out the truth about Catwoman and then Ghost Catwoman
comes and takes Wolverine to heaven. The
End. I left some parts out, but that’s
the gist.
